


Sam -19.8

by phantisma



Series: Ages [22]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-11
Updated: 2007-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-13 22:42:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantisma/pseuds/phantisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - Sam's POV.  Sam has lost Jessica to the demon, and he and Dean are on their way home...Sam begins to question their relationship and there is sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam -19.8

He wasn't quite twenty years old when his girlfriend died pinned to the ceiling above his bed, and his brother had come for him. Still numb from the drugs the ER had pumped into him for the burns, Sam had convinced Dean that they should drive, not fly home. He knew time mattered, but his stomach churned at the thought of getting on a plane when demons were trying to kill them.

Their first night on the road, Sam had scarcely waited for the door of the motel room to be closed before he was pressing Dean into the door, grinding his hips against his brothers, dragging his lips over Dean’s jaw. “Missed you so much.”

Dean kissed him and maneuvered them to the bed, mindful of Sam’s hands and their white bandages. He was smiling as he pushed Sam down, but Sam got the sense that his brother wasn’t fully into the moment. “Dean?” Sam propped himself up on his elbows and Dean grinned up from where he was working on Sam’s belt.

“Sam?” There was the familiar sparkle in his eyes, and Sam shook off the feeling.

“I think you’re gonna have to…do the honors.” Sam held up his hands…”I…don’t think…”

Dean had his zipper down and was already leaning in to tease his cock. “I got you, baby brother…you just lay back.”

Sam was just grateful Dean was talking to him, that he was touching him. That had been the hardest part of how they’d left things at the end of August, not knowing if he’d ever have this again. He’d almost flown home at Christmas to beg. Instead he’d told Jess he had to meet his father and hunted down a black dog in the woods out near Truckee.

He should have ended the thing with Jess then. He knew it wasn’t love…it was just…comfortable. Sam knew from experience that comfortable wasn’t happy.

Dean snapped his fingers in front of his face, drawing him out of his head. “I’m giving you a world class blow job and you’re missing it.”

“Uh…sorry…”

Dean sat back. “Thinking about Jess?”

Sam made a face. “Sort of. Sorry.”

Dean shook his head and got up off the bed to shed his shirt. “No, Sam, it’s okay. I mean you lived with her, and she’s only been gone a few hours.”

Sam shook his head. “No…Dean.” He got up to follow Dean, but his pants fell to the floor and he stumbled. Dean turned and tried to catch him, but Sam pulled away, over corrected and fell onto the bed. He sighed in frustration and kicked at the denim that trapped his feet until Dean’s hands captured his ankles and pulled his sneakers off, then slid his jeans down and off.

“Better?”

“Thanks.” Sam shook his head as Dean held the jeans up and wrinkled his nose.

“Dude, in the morning we have to get you a new pair of pants. These stink.”

Black scorches marked the jeans and the smell of smoke wafted off them as Dean waved them around. “Dean.” Sam sat up, but Dean was moving toward the bathroom with the jeans. “Dean.”

“We can wash them out and put the heater on. They’ll dry.”

“Dean.”

Dean stopped in the doorway. “What?”

“Stop.”

“It’ll only take a second Sam.”

“Dean…I wasn’t…I mean…Jess.”

“It’s okay, Sam. I get it.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I have a wife, remember? A wife I love, and a son.”

Sam felt something twinge inside him. “I was thinking that I should have broken it off with her at Christmas. I’ve known…since then.”

Dean turned slowly. “Known what?”

“That I didn’t love her.” Sam sighed. “She was beautiful and perfect and living with her was easy and comfortable…but when it came right down to it, she wasn’t the one I wanted.”

Dean shook his head. “Sam…you’re probably still in shock. You don’t realize what you’re saying.” Dean shoved the jeans into the shallow basin of the sink and turned the water on.

He did though, Sam knew he was right. Because Jessica wasn’t Dean…and Dean was…not his. Dean was Kaitlyn’s. Sam had known that all along…and he would never choose this over her. “Please, stop and look at me.”

He saw his brother’s eyes in the mirror, looking up at him, concern and fear in their green depths. Dean turned the water off and turned around. Sam’s stomach flooded with anguish. Dean was going to tell him it was over…that this fucked up thing was done. “Just give me this.” Sam whispered. “Just…for right now….I’ll let you go when we get home…I’ll never…ask again…never…”

Dean’s eyes flickered with lust he couldn’t hide. “Sam…”

Sam shook his head. “No…just this…please Dean. Touch me. Let me touch you…” He raised bandaged hands to Dean’s face, stroking gently over his stubbled chin and down to his chest. Dean didn’t move, didn’t hold him, but didn’t brush him off either. “Dean…please?”

He felt more like a little brother than he had in a long time, begging for a piece of candy or to tag along with his big brother on some adventure. He should be ashamed of himself, and he would be eventually, but right at that moment, his need outweighed his conscience. He brushed his lips over Dean’s, feather soft and tender. Dean sighed into his mouth and Sam felt him let go of something, his hand ghosting up Sam’s back to encourage him closer.

“Until we get home.” Dean whispered, his eyes closed.

“Yeah.” Sam kissed him deeper, swallowing his moans as he pressed Dean into the sink. His tongue parted Dean’s lips and Dean took him in, all hints of reticence gone. Sam’s cock stirred back to life and pressed against Dean’s thigh.

“Here.” Dean’s hand closed around him, circling him in warmth. Sam closed his eyes and relaxed into his touch. “That’s it, baby. I got you.”

Sam leaned forward, his head on Dean’s shoulder as Dean slowly jerked him off…and it wasn’t enough…it wasn’t what he really wanted, but he couldn’t stop it now…he could only bite down on hard shoulder muscle as he came and Dean whispered his name, rubbing his shoulders and guiding him back out to the bed.

“Here, open.” Sam looked up in a sort of daze and opened his mouth for the pills Dean had in his hand. Dean followed the pills with water from a bottle in his bag. “Lay down Sammy.”

Sam laid back on the bed and watched Dean finish undressing, then secure them into the room with salt over the door, before coming to bed and slipping in behind Sam. Sam let Dean pull him into the middle of the bed, holding him against Dean’s body. “I love you Sam.” Dean said just as Sam was slipping into the dark. It startled him, pulled him up out of the sleep-stupor…but Dean was already starting to snore. Sam let the medication pull at him, let sleep take him He had at least five days to have Dean to himself. Five days.

 

They fucked their way across the country, as if they were horny teenagers and the world were coming to an end on the other side of this trip. And, Sam supposed, it might at that. He woke Dean with his tongue the next morning, and fed him his own cock for lunch. Dean helped him shower the next night, wrapping plastic bags from their shopping stop for clothes over his bandaged hands.

Dean’s hands moved over Sam’s skin under the water while Sam kept his hands up and out of the way of the water. “This is new.” Dean said softly, his finger tracing a sliver of scar over his lower back.

Sam nodded, pressing back a little. “Fence. I was chasing a goblin.”

“A goblin?”

“Ugly son of a bitch.”

Sam moaned when he felt Dean’s lips on the scar, kissing his way from where it started near his right side and down to where it ended, just above the crease of his ass. Sam pushed back more and felt Dean smile. “Eager aren’t you?”

“Want you to fuck me Dean. Want you inside…”

He felt Dean straighten up, his lips sweeping over Sam’s spine. “You talk so dirty, Sammy.” For a minute, Sam thought he was going to tease him and not…then he felt the finger pressing in. “Fuck Sam…you’re tight.”

Sam relaxed, easing the passage for Dean’s finger. “No one but you, Dean…” It had been a long while…

“Shh…it’s okay…Just relax.” A second finger joined the first and Dean’s free hand slid over Sam’s back while he murmured softly. “That’s my boy….” A third finger and Sam was squirming…Dean was working him open, but avoiding his prostrate, and not touching Sam’s cock, which was starting to throb.

“Dean.” Sam whined, hating how it sounded needy and pathetic, especially when Dean chuckled behind him.

“Yeah…okay.” His fingers let him and Sam whimpered, but then Dean was pulling on his hips, and pressing into him and Sam welcomed the burn of it…he could almost come just from that sensation alone…almost…then Dean was rocking them both forward, bracing one hand on the wall of the shower stall, reaching around Sam with the other.

“Dean…god…” Sam’s cock throbbed in Dean’s hand in time to the thrusting of Dean’s dick in Sam’s ass and it was better than the dreams. He leaned forward a little more, changing the angle, bringing the head of Dean’s cock up against that sweet spot inside him. Sam’s vision swam and he was coming, watching it thread away in water that was starting to run cold. “Dean…”

Dean pressed in, hard and hot, their bodies meshing together against the wall as he came and pulled back and out…slowly turning into the stream of water to wash the evidence away. Before the water went truly cold, Dean was holding a towel, wrapping Sam up and ushering him out to the bed. More pills and Dean curled around him and Sam slept, letting the false bliss convince him that it would all be okay.

Picnic table blow jobs at rest stops, and a bad night in the car because they couldn’t find a motel followed and Sam decided they were both too big for sex in the car, until Dean pushed him down on the back seat and straddled him…and Sam’s cock was inside his brother for the first time in more than a year. He shivered, partly from excitement and partly because the night air was cool.

Dean was teasing, riding him slow and steady, his head bowed forward to keep from hitting the roof of the car, hands braced on the back of both seats. Sam wanted to run his hands over his brother’s skin, to caress those hot spots that made Dean purr, but had to settle for growling when Dean’s ass clenched tight around him.

They hadn’t slept much that night and Sam would have kept driving if that didn’t mean they’d get home sooner…that he’d lose Dean that much sooner. They didn’t talk about it. They drove. They fucked. They drove more. Almost as if the end of the drive didn’t exist.

 

The last night out, Sam refused the pills, even though his hands hurt. He preferred the pain and being awake, being in Dean’s arms and holding on to him. Their bodies were slicked with sweat, Dean’s head on Sam’s chest. “We’ll be home tomorrow.” Sam said, the fingers of his right hand peeking out through the bandages as he brushed them over Dean’s hair.

Dean nodded, pressing his left hand flat against Sam’s stomach. “It really has to be over Sam. I love you…but this…”

“I know.” Sam couldn’t breathe, but he knew. “It’s okay.”

Dean lifted up on his elbow to look at him. “Is it?”

Sam knew Dean could see right through him. “Yeah…I mean, it has to be, right?”

Dean kissed his chest, mouthed over his nipple. “At least until this is over.”

Sam closed his eyes and shook his head. That was just like Dean…trying to ease the pain, take the sting away. “No…if it’s over, let it be over. You have Kaitlyn. She needs you.”

“And I need you.” Dean said.

“You have me Dean…always.” Sam kissed him, long and slow, but it felt like goodbye. They were quiet then, but Sam was fairly certain neither one of them slept as the night dragged by them. It was nearly three when he gave up pretending. His hands hurt, his heart ached and he had the start of a headache. Dean rolled over, clinging to the illusion of sleep.

Sam worked his way into the sweat pants Dean had bought for him, sighing in frustration as his left hand refused to help him and the bandages on his right continued raveling. Finally he shoved his feet into his sneakers and ducked outside. It was cold, but the predicted snow hadn’t started. In a few hours they would get back in the rental car and by noon they would be home.

Dean would be with Kaitlyn and Daniel and Sam would be…his brother. Sam exhaled in a plume of steam and the cold was starting to settle into him. The pain in his head was growing. He was turning to go back to the room, back to Dean when the images came, slamming home hard, knocking him on his ass and against the door.

_The street was empty, lined with burned out cars and corpses. Reuel, in full manifestation, hovered over a small knot of people on a grassy yard. Dean stood, his back to Sam, his fists clenched, roaring in anguish unlike anything Sam had ever heard._

Sam panted through the last of it and slowly picked himself off the cold ground. It wasn’t much…it was future, but Sam didn’t know how far into the future…and he had only the vaguest idea what Dean’s pain was…but the sound of it was enough to twist his stomach.

He opened the door, not surprised to see Dean out of bed and getting dressed. “We’re leaving.”

Sam nodded. He was right. They should go. But he wasn’t ready. He crossed to where Dean was throwing his t-shirt into a bag. “Dean…I…”

Dean’s eyes closed and he turned, reaching blindly for Sam and wrapping his arms around him. “We’re going to be okay, Sammy…”

“I know.” He held Dean to him longer than he had intended, unable to let it be over. He brushed his lips over Dean’s…lightly, then nodded and pulled away. “You ready?”

Dean nodded, then pulled Sam close, one hand sliding into his hair to pull him in for a real kiss, passionate and deep. “Now I am.”

Dean handled putting their things in the car and Sam slid into the passenger seat. “I don’t know what’s going to happen…but I want you to know Sam, there isn’t anyone I want by my side more than you.”

Sam managed a smile. “We’ll get through it. Is Jenny coming?”

Dean nodded. “When I talked to Kaitlyn last night she said she’d be there this morning.”

“So this is it?”

“This is it.”


End file.
